Like a boss
Editors Note: This weeks match report is written by budding singer song writer and Firebrand resident bean counter Gordon MacLeod. As the season draws to a close Master MacLeod will hang up his boots and head off on tour to perform his solo act titled ‘One Non Blonde’. Without any further introduction…..to the bat cave / match report.
Earlier this summer, our legendary skipper/player manager/team comedian, the now one-eyed ‘everyoung Jason Crane’™ gave a performance of staggering quality, leaving the crowd in raptures and cheering for more.
No, you haven’t missed something that wasn’t featured in the match reports, as I’m not talking football on this occasion, (our record crowd is only 2 and none of them ever came back again), but about his top of the bill performance at the Summer Event, with his rendition of Bryan Adams’ Summer of ’69 (which could have been a reference to the number of goals we’ve let in, were it not for the fact we’re now at nearly double that).
I have it on good authority that the versatile Mr Crane can also pull off a mean Frank Sinatra cover as well, and it’s with that thought in mind, and the tune from Ol’ Blue Eyes’ classic ‘My Way’ in your heads (it’ll work better if you listen and read at the same time), that I invite you to read this week’s penultimate match report (Editors note – video added to help):
And now, the end is near
Just one more game, our bodies hurting
Last night, we lost again
How many by, nobody’s certain*
I’ve played, for many teams,
Here and there, across the land
But of them all, it is the best, play-ing for Fiiirebrand
Some wins, we’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
Each week, we turned up keen, just looking for, that one redemption
Some shots, they were so hard, that they would hurt, poor Jez’s hand
And yes, it was quite tough, play-ing for Fiiirebrand
Yes there were times, I’m sure you knew
We knew we’d lose, by quite a few
But every week, I wasn’t bored
And I was there, when Staffy scored
It shocked us all, we had a ball, play-ing for Fiiirebrand
I’ve nutmegged, I’ve shimmied too
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And then, against Kiev, things were not, so amusing
I’m sorry Jez, that I did that
Scored an OG, head in my hand
Oh no, oh, no, not me, play-ing for Fiiirebrand
Oh what a team, what have we got?
Only 3 wins, that’s not a lot
But we’ll be back, to play again, we will recover from all the pain
The table shows, we’ll finish low**, play-ing for Fiiirebrand
Yes we are Fiiirebrand
Jason will be giving a live rendition of this song at next week’s awards night, so if that doesn’t get you to come down for our final match and drinks afterwards, I don’t know what will
*We scored 3, that much I do know, courtesy of Marcus, myself, and the irrepressible Russell Stafford (bringing his seasons tally to 3, and leaving anyone who placed a bet on the over/under of a few weeks back at 3.5, sweating on his performance in next weeks final match). There were solid performances elsewhere from Jack, Neel & debutant Reece (though not quite living up to the pre-match Gareth Bale comparisons…). We held our own in the first half and fought back to 3-3, but a combination of fitness, excellent keeping from them, and a lack of a regular keeper for us, saw them pull away in the second half to score 9 or 10 (league website says 10)
**We’re back on the bottom again, but a win next week against a team we beat before could even see us reach the heady heights of 6th.
Last week is your last chance (for now), to catch the team in action. 7.30pm kick off followed by end of season drinks.