From Blade

Like a boss

Football’s Violent XI

In a previous post by my fellow writer Nick Bere we covered the XI stupidest footballers, today I thought i’d go a different route. Footballers are known for pussy footing around, diving to the floor following a gust of wind.

But there are handfull of brutal players out there that go around causing mayhem. I have gone for the 4-3-3 formation and sadly YouTube has limited some of my select XI as alot of footballing content gets removed due to tv rights. Not all players in my XI are prone to acts of needless violence, but the one off’s might be the worst.

Man I both Love and Hate Football, sometimes it’s sublime, sometimes it’s ridiculous. most of this is ridiculous.

Peter Schmeichel – Goal Keeper

The great Dane, not one for acts of violence puts a rather foolish pitch invader in his place. The throw at the end is frankly comical, that poor guy goes flying.

Elizabeth Lambert – Defence

Yup, you read that right, Little Lizzie Lambert makes it into the team, how do you get away with that many intentional fouls. Universal ban from College football, it’s the brutal hair pull that does it for me.

Stuart ‘Psycho’ Pearce – Defence

Also nicknamed Mr England, Stuart isn’t known for going in half hearted. God only knows what Peter Reid said or did to deserve the following treatment.

Ben Thatcher – Defence

Ben certainly won’t be remember for his footbal, he will however be remembered for this brutal elbow on Pedro Mendes. Pedro may have forgotten it though after being knocked clean out.

Ben Thatcher Elbow On Pedro Mendes by BroadbandMovies

Paul Gascgoine – Midfield

I can only assume Paul has been on the drink by the time he puts in this challenge, unbelievable miss timing. Paul gets the nod for sheer stupidity here.

Joey Barton – Midfield

I despise everything about Joey Barton, his smug arrogant face, his unending talent for being confrontational and the fact that he has the audacity to try and feign intelligence through twitter. Still, Football is full of Pansies and if you’re gona be sent of make sure you get some afters.

My housemate will never forgive Joey for this moment, and avid United fan he watched defeat snatched from the jaws of victory.

Zinidine Zidane – Midfield

Hugely talented footballer who managed to blight the dying seconds of his career by headbutting Marco Materazzi in the chest. Zinidine’s ridiculous antics ultimately cost France a chance to win the 2006 World Cup.

Wayne Rooney – Forward

In recent years Wayne seems to have managed to cage the violent scouse beast that rages in, but heres a reel of his less tactful challenges.


Diego Maradona – Forward

What a spiteful little word i’m not going to use because my Mum reads this. I hate the fat little bugger, talented footballer, but the hand of God and then this extreme violence. Its frankly shameful disgusting, check out the first guy knocked clean out.

Eric Cantona – Forward

Eric was possibly one of the most talented footballers that ever lived, full of passion commitment and out and out rage. Eric for once shows fans that they’re accountable for the verbal abuse hurled at players on the pitch. That said, still a pretty ridiculous thing to do. Silly Eric, naughty step for you.


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