Like a boss
We all have a song, you know, the one you know you shouldn’t love but you do. That one song; that if someone accused you of liking it, you would deny it to your last dying breath. But given the open road and an empty care, you’d sing your heart out if it came on the radio. And you’d love every bloody second of it.
I do however have one weakness, I love the occasional rubbish song, more than I should. I can’t tell you why, I just do. Songs every fiber of my being knows is terrible but I love them anyway. And against my better judgement I have decided to share them with you. Now they are labelled 1-10, but i couldn’t possibly put them in order of quality because they are all equally terrible/amazing. So here it goes.
Yup, kicked off with a big one, Spice Girls forever. Now the Spice Girls made a lot of good songs, they also made some really cheesey rubbish ones, Viva Forever for me falls somewhere in the middle. Perhaps as the purveyor of ‘Girl Power’ as a man I should hate this song, but I don’t.
Wow this is bad….no wonder Craig was ridiculed in Bo Selecta. Right from the opening line I knew this was going to be a chart hit with “one, two, unbuckle my shoe” (I was wrong). Still there is something exceptionally catchy about this song even considering the lyrical ridiculousness. Maybe I just like the open wail where I pretend I can hit every note.
This is my go to karaoke song, that is to say if I ever performed karaoke more than once in a blue moon this would be my song. Last spotted singing on stage in Philidelphia, unbuttoning my shirt, serenading a man with an afro and a pimping purple suit. My friends tell me I didn’t get lucky that night, and I pray they weren’t lying!
This song has 77 million hits, so in this selection i’m not alone in the loving of an epically bad song. To this day I can’t work out why Aqua didn’t make it, with back up songs like “Dr Jones” in their locker they should have had a brighter future.
Most guys love this song because it’s got pretend lesbian school girls in it. Whenever I listen to this song, I will normally spend the next few days with the lyrics “running through my head, running through my head”. I can only assume it’ something like the episode of the Simpsons where Bart, Nelson, Ralph and Milhouse end up in a boy band set up by the US Navy to brain wash kids. Subliminal messaging is making me like this song, it’s the only rational explanation.
Another of those annoyingly catchy songs that I can’t help but like. I wanted to hate it, I even actively informed people of my hatred for it. But i failed, Carly Rae and her nonsensical lyrics got to me.
‘Call me maybe’ does have a range of redeeming features though. Mostly thanks to funny web people who have parodied the forever repeated chorus of ‘Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, here’s my number so call me maybe’. My favourite is Star Wars themed and can be found in this wonderful BuzzFeed article.
I’m not alone in this guilty pleasure track. My good friend Sir Thomas Gyration is an absolute lover of this track. We used to blast this song out in his room and sing along, we were pretty damn cool back then.
Oh yes it’s true, ‘I’m flying Jack’. You never want to here my rendition of this song, it will damage your soul more than it did mine sitting through 3 hours of titanic. A film only made worse by the fact they re-released it on DVD.
I almost selected Gwen Stefani for the last track just so I could quote the lyrics “this shit is bananas b a n a n a s”, but alas no, it’s DB. The ultimate douche bag Daniel Bedingfield, just when you thought this song was cheesey enough he brought out an acoustic version. And I savour it like I would a fine Brie.
If I’ve pushed you to the edge with these tracks, it’s time to step on over. Yes Daniel!
So there we go folks, my top 10 guily pleasure tracks, do you have any to add to the mix?